In salary negotiations, techniques and strategies are not mere tricks. They are real tools for structuring your argument, establishing a balanced power relationship and obtaining fair recognition of your professional value. But these means, powerful as they are, are not enough on their own. It is just as important to examine your own relationship with money — because that is often where the real challenge lies. This is a necessary step before you can truly begin the negotiation process.

To find out more about your relationship with money, consider the following three questions:

1. What is your dominant emotion when it comes to money? Do you feel anxiety, confidence, indifference or pleasure when managing your finances?

2. How have your upbringing and environment influenced you? What sentences did you often hear about money? ‘Money doesn't buy happiness’, ‘You have to work hard to earn more’, ‘Asking for money is arrogant...’ These cultural or family messages shape — sometimes without our knowledge — the way we spend, save, invest... and negotiate.

3. What role does money play in your decisions and well-being? Is it a tool for achieving your goals, a source of stress, or a means of social affirmation? Some people associate money with security, others with freedom, power, recognition... or guilt. These associations influence our behaviour: they can lead us to ask for too little, not dare to negotiate, or accept conditions that fail to meet our expecations.

Beliefs that hinder negotiation

Here are some limiting beliefs that too often unconsciously sabotage salary negotiations :

• ‘I should be grateful to have this job.’ → This belief prevents you from setting boundaries or asking for fair compensation.
• ‘If I ask for more, I'll come across as greedy.’ → This confuses healthy ambition with greed.
• ‘Money corrupts people.’ → This creates tension between financial success and personal integrity.
• ‘People like me don't earn that kind of salary.’ → This reflects a form of self-exclusion, often linked to social background, gender or personal history.
• ‘I have to prove my worth first to deserve more.’ → This instils a mindset of sacrifice or overperformance before recognition.

When it comes to negotiation, it all starts with you.

Discussing your salary expectations is not just about mastering negotiating techniques. It is also – and above all – about freeing yourself from the narratives that prevent you from asserting yourself. It is about recognising that your value does not depend on a figure, but rather that this figure can be a fair reflection of your value.