The thinker who has shed the most light on this phenomenon is William Bridges, a former professor of literature who became a specialist in human transitions in the 1980s. His book Transitions: Making Sense of Life's Changes has become a global reference because it puts a complex reality into simple words: change is external, but transition is internal.

Bridges explains that every transition follows a three-stage process. It is not linear, clean or comfortable — but it is universal.

The three necessary stages of transition

The first stage is letting go. Not a sudden stop, but the recognition of what is coming to an end: a role, an identity, a way of being useful, a rhythm that gave us a sense of normality. Until this end is acknowledged, it remains a threat. The transition truly begins on the day we accept to say, ‘Something is ending.’

Then comes the neutral zone, that strange in-between space where we are no longer what we were, but not yet what we will become. Bridges describes it as a time of confusion... but also of creativity. It is a suspended, sometimes uncomfortable, moment, where our bearings waver. Yet this is where new ways of life are forged. It is here that we explore, test and experiment. It is here that we discover what is seeking to emerge from within us.

Finally, the new beginning. Not a spectacular event, but an inner alignment. A vision that becomes clearer. A new way of inhabiting the world. This new beginning is not a “restart”: it is a reconfiguration. A way of redefining oneself, of telling one's story differently, of rediscovering meaning.

Applicable to all life transitions

We all experience this three-stage process, well beyond retirement. In parenthood, when we become parents long after the birth of our child. In expatriation, when it takes months to truly settle into a new country. In career change, when we leave one identity behind before finding the next. When we lose our jobs, when we have to give up what kept us going.

In all these transitions, the challenge is not simply to ‘change our lives’.

The challenge is to transform ourselves without losing ourselves.